Author: D.C. Denison
Date: July 15, 2001
The Boston Globe Page: E2 Section: Business

WALTHAM - Fifty women, and one man, are vigorously shaking hands in a small classroom just off Route 128 in Waltham. Diane Darling, founder and director of the local women's networking group DigitalEve Boston, is barking instructions: "Grip so that your palms are together, now pump twice, and let go. Pump, pump, and let go."

If you think networking is a hit-or-miss affair, you've never been to one of Darling's Effective Networking Workshops. Darling does not shy away from authoritative pronouncements on some very specific networking practices. For example, do you know where to put your name badge at a networking event? You should put it on the right side of your chest. According to Darling, the eye naturally flows up the right arm as you are shaking hands.

Darling has been issuing directives like this at workshops all over the country since December 2000. Many of these workshops are presented under the auspices of DigitalEve, which means the audience is primarily, but not exclusively, women.

Apparently networking advice is in short supply. The session I attended last week, like most of Darling's Boston-area workshops, was a standing-room-only sellout. The two-hour session ($10 for DigitalEve members; $20 for everyone else) featured a lot of general advice about career advancement, but what I found most interesting was Darling's confident approach to the many details of modern networking protocol.

How long should you talk to one person at a networking event?
Three to five minutes, eight minutes maximum, according to Darling.

The proper wardrobe for a networking event:
"When in doubt, go up a notch."

How should you hold your drink?
Always in your left hand; otherwise your handshake will feel clammy. And do not beam your contact information to someone else, Palm Pilot to Palm Pilot. You may beam more than you intend - for example, all your passwords.

Darling recommends taking a networking "kit" along with you to an event: a pen that you can lose, a magic marker (to embolden your name on the name badge), breath mints, and business cards in a case.
Darling's advice was not restricted to networking events: Networking preparedness was also stressed. For example, Darling recommends arriving at an event with a prepared tagline - what you're going to say after you say your name. You should also bring along three nonthreatening conversational questions. For example: "Are you from the area?" Or, "Have you ever been to this event before?" Or, "I'm ready for a vacation. Any suggestions?"

What not to talk about, according to Darling:
personal stuff, sex, politics, and religion.
Special note for women from Darling: You can always talk to any man about his tie.

Then there's the networking follow-up. Darling suggested follow-up calls, of course. But if you end up in voice mail, remember to bracket your message with your name and phone number - on both sides of the message. If you are given the opportunity to listen to your voice message and redo it, take it. And an e-mail is no substitute for a written thank-you note.

As the tips continued to accrue, Darling's overarching networking philosopy started to emerge. Finally, Darling said it herself.

"Networking is a lifestyle," she said. "That's what it all adds up to."

OnSite segments also appear in NetWatch on Boston.com (www.boston.com/dcdenison).

D.C. Denison can be reached by e-mail at denison@globe.com